One of the hardest parts of being the executor of someone’s estate is coping with the emotions of the deceased’s family members and friends. When people are grieving, they can act in unusual ways – and some heirs and other family members may get demanding.
With that in mind, you have to be careful how you handle the situation when a family member or friend of the deceased asks to have access to their home to get a “small memento.”
Here’s why you have to refuse the request
It may feel terrible to tell someone that they can’t go into their mother’s or father’s home and take a few mementos right away – but it’s the wisest course of action. Here’s why:
- They may be trying to loot the estate: Not everybody who approaches you with this request may have pure intentions. They may hope to grab a few valuables before the assets in the home are inventoried so that they can claim they were given those items before the deceased’s passing. Grandma’s rings can easily be pocketed, and it might not take any effort at all for someone to lift grandpa’s most valuable coins from his collection. It’s your job to protect the estate against these kinds of losses.
- They may start a pitched battle with other heirs: Some sentimental items are worth more than gold to people – and one person may intentionally try to make off with an item of significant emotional value before anybody else has a chance to stake a claim. You don’t want to embroil the estate in a battle over a handmade quilt or a photo album, for example.
Explain to anybody who asks that you need time to inventory the estate and look at the will to see if there are any special bequests before you can allow them to take anything. Let them know that it’s your fiduciary duty to keep things under lock and key until the court tells you otherwise – and that you can be held personally liable if you don’t.
Ask them to give you a list of what they want, so that you can make sure that they get it as soon as possible – assuming there are no disputes over that item. When in doubt about what to do, legal guidance is wise.