If you’ve learned that a recently deceased loved one left you far more assets (money, property or something else of significant value) than you were expecting, it’s not uncommon to feel what’s called “inheritor’s guilt.”
This can happen with inheritances in the thousands of dollars as easily as with those in the millions. People are more likely to feel it when the amount is far more than they expected. Some people (particularly those who grew up in the Great Depression) live frugally while building an ever-growing nest egg. Their loved ones may have no idea they had so much money.
In some cases, inheritor’s guilt occurs when someone has become estranged from an older loved one (like a parent) over the years and wasn’t expecting any inheritance. That inheritance can compound the guilt of not having resolved things before they died.
How to feel “heirworthy”
So if you’re feeling inheritor’s guilt, it’s important not to let that keep you from wisely spending, investing, saving (or some combination of those) the assets you’ve inherited. Some people become paralyzed by the sudden windfall and do nothing with it or even try to ignore it. Others, sadly, waste it because they don’t feel “heirworthy,” as one strategic wealth coach describes it.
If your loved one didn’t give you any guidance regarding how they hoped you’d use it, think about what they would have wanted. Would they want you to put it toward your child’s college savings or pay off your own student loan debt? Are there charitable organizations they supported but didn’t leave any money to?
Maybe they always talked about “finding their roots” by visiting the home country of their ancestors, but never did. That might be something to consider.
Getting professional guidance can help
The important thing is not to make any big decisions while you’re still grieving your loss and processing your feelings around your inheritance. If the inheritance is substantial, it can be a good idea to talk with a financial or investment advisor as soon as possible.
If you’re in charge of administering your loved one’s estate, one way you can honor their memory is to do this responsibly and to help ensure that the estate isn’t unnecessarily diminished by fees, penalties and losses. It can be a wise move to get sound legal guidance to help with the probate process.